I am sorry if anyone didn't expect this or anyone who wishes I didn't leave mod, but it was time. My time on GP has been very well until the last 2-3 months, and it just wasn't for me in the end. I don't know if it was being Mod or just being apart of the community but I bet my mod position was the problem. My life is much more important than a mod position in some cs:s community so I was willing to let it go. I have no idea if I will ever be back on the servers, I bet I will, but in the end I don't know that. This could easily be my mod and member goodbye, but I hope it wont and I will stay as member and start playing again. So as right now I am leaving mod and will walk the trail that I am supposed to walk on. I feel as this is my goodbye, I should reveal my goodbye message that I sent to indi, as it could easily be said to so many people in the community who have been here as long as I am, or people who have had a huge impact on me in the community.
I don't think I'm coming back. I've been too calm the past week and the moment I come back to the community i'm just gonna piss my self off again. I'd rather distance my self. I don't know if its being mod or just being in the community but either way, I just don't know. I wouldn't have anything to work towards even if I came back, I'd just be unnoticed for the amount I do even if I put in the same amount of time/effort as I did before. What makes me happy is having spending time with others, not playing games with others. I've also been gone too long, so if I did come back I would not want to stay. I'd like to stay in the community as member and hopefully I can work my way back to playing, but there's no point of staying at this point as mod if my loyalty i once had for the community does not exist. I don't think this is a surprise to you or anyone else because of the amount of time I've been gone. I'm ready to start life, not continue being a high school kid playing cs:s to get around my work I had due the next day. I need to be an adult and get my act together. Maybe I'll work my way back to playing once I have a better computer, or once I start becoming more of an adult and I know I won't use the game to procrastinate. I hope you understand how i feel, I know me leaving mod means nothing to the community anyways. I'm just another mod, no admin, no staff, and certainly no leader. I'm far from having any of those without becoming more mature and and comfortable in my current state. So I guess I'll stay as member in the end and hope I will slowly start to make a relationship with GP again. Thank you for considering me a mod for the past 6 months, and if I don't come back, good luck to you and the community. This is what sincerely kept me happy and sane for the past 6 months, so thank you.
The community has been one of the only things keeping me who I am through the tough period of my life, but once I got out of that period. I continued to think in that way only because there was something I held onto from that time, it was this community. It was non of you or anyone in particular, it was just my head playing tricks on me. If this is the last time I will have anything to do with the community I'd like to thank everyone in the community for making me, me. Without the times I had here I could easily be in a depressed state and that wouldn't have been very good for the time period I was going through. Thank you to Connor for being someone I could vent to even if it was non sense that we both knew was just me being too angry to think. I wont name anyone else because the list would go on forever, but Connor is too good of a friend not to place in here. So yeah, hopefully I'll see you around. If not then goodbye. You all owe me 5 dollars still, don't you forget it.