This hurts me to be posting this because the time I've spent on these servers have been some of my most memorable in my history of playing video games. Yes, I'm going to be leaving GP. I feel as though I have been disrespected considering my contributions to the community. I was recently told that the way I play CS:S is considered trolling. This hurt because I've been here since the beginning of the community and I've supported the servers through everything. I don't feel that I have changed the way I act or play in any way since I have started playing in this community. Being told that I'm getting complaints now hurts because I felt I was a valued member of this community. Early on I remember Indi asking me when I was going to join GP and I would always decline the offer. The fact that Indi made this community after EgN died showed me that the people I had met in that community still had somewhere to go. I love CS:S and the community that has been built around the gamemodes in it. I've been playing CS:S for a long time now so I've had lots of memorable experiences inside the game and inside the communities I've found myself inside of. I love the people in this community and I feel that I can have a new and genuine experience every time I join the server. I'm sure for any person playing on the server for an extended period of time to get the same news that I did would be heartbreaking. This is not a shot at Indi or any of the higher ranking people in the community. This is just something I have felt for a little bit and the break I've taken from the game in the past week showed that I wasn't valued in this community as much as I thought I was. I felt like I was the person that got the Jailbreak server active and exciting with my antics that I would create. Knowing that the server and the community continue without my presence and my lighthearted remarks makes me feel much less important. When I joined the server I didn't feel the same reception that I was getting early on in the communities lifetime. For anyone who has played with me I'm sure they know that I enjoy being in the spotlight and I enjoy being the center of attention. I know this can get annoying but I'm grateful that you all put up with my shit for this long. Imagine me being 14 and playing this game and you'll know the struggle of the previous community I was in. I know I haven't made this easy for a lot of the admins in the community with the way I play the game. Yes, I like to cause havoc on the servers. I feel it's in its best state when it is in havoc. The admins of this community have had the bravest assignment of all which is allowing me to scream "gamers rise up" in the middle of a jailbreak round. For that I thank all of you. Because I brought up the fact that I felt I was a valued member of the community, I would like to quote the responses to my member application. Connor McJesus, the rock of this community, said "+1, absolutely, glad to finally see you on the forums!." Hunter said "+1 great gamer, always rises when the warden dies " Huge said, "in all seriousness, dazlo has been here since the beginning, he has always been active, he is funny and has a good attitude. When dazlo is on, you know you will be having fun. I think it’s safe to say that we all would love to see him join the community." My guy Quasi said "+1! for sure, dazlo is a nice dude, he's easy to get along with, fun to play pub w, and he's pretty funny, on jah, this dude should be member." The absolute GOAT of the community, Tech N9ne said, "+1 I enjoy the shit talking, real nice player." All of these responses made me feel like a valued member of the community and I don't feel as though I've been treated the same ever since.
This may come as a shock to many of you but this is something I need to do for me. I will be starting my first real college semester in the fall and I can't be fucking around on a CS:S community. I need to worry more about my future than the future of this community. I've spent over 30 minutes writing this so I want you to know that it really means a lot for me to be putting this much effort into something like this.
I'd like to thank the people who have made my time in this community some of the best time I've spent on this game: Toxic, Connor, CRACK, Da Man, Mr Bonkers, Themistocles, Shawn, GracieKaeri, Jeff or Operation Human Shield, Samira, Dock, lordofthedepths, Shadowlord, Edubbb, Bryan, fool, Sly, Yes, Shmepi, <><, and many others who have made my time in this community great.
I will be on periodically to play some PUB or minigames but I definitely will not be as active as I used to be.
Love, your gamer overlord